After many (many) years of patience, I have finally found the man I will marry and spend the rest of my life with. I'm going to marry him soon and already the question everyone has for us is, "When will you guys start having kids?".
My question for you two is, when is the best time into a marriage to start thinking about kids? Neither me nor my partner are all that young anymore....how long is too long to wait and when is it too soon to start a family?
-Wondering when to have babies.
Karla Says:
I personally am not a baby pusher. I find that in our society people feel most comfortable when they are able to recruit people to whatever team they are playing on .... for example the marriage team, the baby team, the two baby team, etc. There seems to be so much pressure from the public to have everyone progress with a certain pattern from single to engaged to marriage to having babies... etc. This question of yours is a very personal one. It depends on what your priority is and what your partners priorities might be. I encourage you to both sit down and talk about your current priorities. If at the top of the list is traveling, building your relationship or career. It sounds like you both might have priorities other than having babies. If both of you state that your priority is to have a family then it sounds like you want a baby now. What matters is that both of you be honest with yourselves. Having a baby will change everything!! Your life will no longer be your own and all control seems to be lost. It is an amazing and humbling journey but know that everything will change. So I encourage you to hold counsel with yourself and your partner. Be honest with yourselves and let go of whatever anyone else is asking after all these people aren't going hone with you to deal with the consequences of your actions. I wish you the best of luck and I am thrilled for you that you found the person you want to commit to.... what an amazing blessing. May you both follow your bliss and experience the very best this world has to offer!!!
Fabian Says:
Ha..Ha..Ha..Ha..Kids, Family and Marriage. O.k. people stop asking other people when they are going to get married, have kids or if they are married when they are going to start a family, I hate these questions. Listen-up you just found the person you think is worthy enough to be with you for the rest of how ever long you choose to be on this earth. First and foremost congratulations you have just made your life harder and easier in one shot. In finding this person you went through a lot and there is more to come with you two trying to live together and truly understanding each other. You both need to ask yourselves are you ready to introduce someone else into this new found relationship.
By the way oldest person to have a child was a 70 yr old in India on November 28 2008, the world record. This lady hit menopause and still had a child, her and her husband of 50 yrs truly wanted a child and never gave up (wait that means at 70 they were still having sex, cool), anyway, this should be an inspiration to you and some facts to tell all those who are wondering when you will have kids. Couples need to get to know each other very well before they start thinking about parenting together; it changes the relationship and both your worlds. You asked when into the marriage to start I say 2.5 yrs to start talking about it and right about 3 yrs to start having. Why so long to start talking about it you may ask. Well after two years you are both keepers for each other, you would have gone through all stages of matrimony and be stable in your schedules and careers. Why such a short distance between talking and having, well birth control is getting old or becoming annoying and there will be a slip-up so it was good you started talking about having little ones. During this time have fun and make lots of memories with each other so you have something to share with the little ones before it’s all about them and their needs and wants.
By the way oldest person to have a child was a 70 yr old in India on November 28 2008, the world record. This lady hit menopause and still had a child, her and her husband of 50 yrs truly wanted a child and never gave up (wait that means at 70 they were still having sex, cool), anyway, this should be an inspiration to you and some facts to tell all those who are wondering when you will have kids. Couples need to get to know each other very well before they start thinking about parenting together; it changes the relationship and both your worlds. You asked when into the marriage to start I say 2.5 yrs to start talking about it and right about 3 yrs to start having. Why so long to start talking about it you may ask. Well after two years you are both keepers for each other, you would have gone through all stages of matrimony and be stable in your schedules and careers. Why such a short distance between talking and having, well birth control is getting old or becoming annoying and there will be a slip-up so it was good you started talking about having little ones. During this time have fun and make lots of memories with each other so you have something to share with the little ones before it’s all about them and their needs and wants.
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