Is It Ok To Parent Differently?

Dear Fabian and Karla,
I have two children and lately it has been brought to my attention that I treat each one differently.  I tend to be stricter with one than the other and there are times that there are different rules for each one.  I do this because my children are so different but I can't help but wonder if it is a mistake to treat them differently.  So do I embrace my different parenting styles for each child or adopt the same parenting style for both children.
-Fair or not Fair

Karla Says:
I personally am guilty of treating my children differently.  Before I had children my intentions were to be fair and I would never treat my children differently.  Reality sunk in real quick when my second son turned two.  Despite my best intentions it was not long before I began treating my children differently.  I think there are two reasons for this; one I am human and I am not perfect, and two my children are different.   In my opinion I encourage you to accept who you are as a parent and continue to strive to be the best parent to your children.  I encourage you to look at your children and accept that they are different and it is inevitable that they will be treated differently.  I invite you to continue working on yourself and loving who you are and I trust that you will find the best parent within you.


Fabian Says:

Want to be fair, ONLY HAVE ONE CHILD!!!!!, this way you do not have to grapple with this ever unanswered question.  There is no way or let me put it nicer slightly no way to be fair. That in itself is the fairness of having more than one.  Now that your system just got a jolt of electricity let’s get to the nuts and bolts of raising multiple children.  You will treat each one different that however does not say you love one less than the other or it is unfair, you do so because they are different people.  Luke 11:11 say, this is a paraphrase now folks, “Which of you fathers (mothers), if your son (daughter)asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?” now that’s not fair if one ask for a fish and gets it but the other gets a snake when he/s clearly asked for a fish also.  There is no one size fits all in the scenario of raising kids, you can have the same rules in the household but it is a guide that teaches them how to follow and respect rules.  When these rules are however broken discipline needs to be relative to the person that will redirect and be constructive in their development.  This I believe allows them to be who they are while still being respectful to other.  So relax, you don’t treat any two people the same so why do you think you can get away treating your children exactly the same they are after all just small people.